


Wicked Games

by thescroller



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Cheating, Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-21
Updated: 2019-03-26
Packaged: 2019-10-13 15:43:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17490728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescroller/pseuds/thescroller
Summary: He was poison.She was the whiskey.They were wrong.But then again they were so right.





	1. 1

**Intro**

“I don’t love her anymore,” he stated simply. “I don’t think I have in a really long time.”

Despite the diminess of the room, you still caught the way that his tongue rolled around his mouth, like he was really trying to sort through his thoughts. The glass in his hand shifted in circles, causing the ice to clink together before he brought it to his lips to take a nice slow sip.

“Why do you say that?” You asked, continuing to watch him closely.

He gave you a shrug, the suit jacket he had on heaving up as his shoulders did. “I.. honestly don’t think I can give you a good solid reason,” he answered, the glass of amber liquid still pressed close to his lips. “I just hate going home these days.”

Noticing that he had some serious scruff running along his jaw, you couldn’t help leaning forward and running a lone finger along part of it. His face leaned towards your touch just as his lips left his glass, turning to just barely brush against your thumb.

“Hm,” you hummed at the rare touch he had given you, trying to ignore the way it lit that fire in the pit of your stomach. Or was that coming from somewhere else down south?

A quick swing of your hips and you heard him suck in a breath before his free hand reached out towards you, snaking around your bare waist and pulling you down to sit in his lap. He leaned forward, his lips just inches from your neck as he whispered his next question into your ear. “Does that make me a bad person?”

“For staying with a woman you don’t love?” You asked, fighting the trail of goosebumps that were making their way up your body and causing your nipples to harden. “I don’t think that’s my call to make.”

He shifted you in his lap, twisting you around to face him and bringing his glass towards your mouth. With a slight tilt, he encouraged you to take a sip and feel just what was helping him numb his pain. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

Once again, his whisper was clouding your thoughts more than the alcohol he was carefully slipping you. “I’m sure that’s not the only reason,” you spoke slowly. “Considering I’ve seen you just about every night this week.”

Now it was his turn to give a noise of approval, not that you needed it by what you felt in his lap. Still, you couldn’t help the urge to roll your hips against his, just to get a better feel for what was hiding in those slacks of his.

You watched as his eyes glazed over from the mixture of booze and lure that this place always gave off. It had a tendency of making people forget their sorrows, even if it was just for a couple hours. The way he was looking at you had to thinking about fucking all the rules to hell and back. Several times over, as a matter of fact.

A vibration in his right pocket broke the spell, causing you to stand up before him as he shifted himself to grab that small device. The way he glanced over whatever was on the screen before him had him downing the rest of his whiskey much too quickly.

The magic of the moment gone - reminding you just what he was before you as he fished his wallet out of his navy blue jacket. He threw a handful of bills on the table next to him before looking up at you, those eyes still wondering up your frame, and flashing a large bill.

In one swift moment, he managed to stand up before you, towering over you to be exact, and slipped the payment into your lacy, black bra. Despite the circumstances, you couldn’t help but notice the way his touch lingered on the swell of your breast before he cleared his throat.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

It was more of a statement than a question coming from him, but none the less you nodded your head. “I’ll be right here waiting.”

There was a pause as the two of you shared a lasting gaze, before you did something so against the rules - you’d be surprised if you had a job in the morning.

You leaned forward and kissed him. 


	2. 2.

**ONE**

He couldn’t shake this feeling he had been evading for what felt like months on end. It was like something was gnawing away at his insides, trying to break free and make him face the truth. That truth was not a pill he was ready to swallow, but with every passing day it was getting more and more clear that no amount of alcohol was going to dull it.

“Jensen?” The familiar voice of Jared echoed, pulling him out of his thoughts and back into the meeting they were having. It had something to do with a fundraiser that Misha wanted to do. It was for a good cause, but it was honestly the last thing on his mind in the moment. “Are you with us there, man?”

A rough hand dragged across his face, the last couple of nights evident in the bags forming under his eyes. “Yeah, yeah, sorry.”

His best friend shot him a concerned look, his lips parting like he had something else to say, but closed them just as quickly. “Alright, well what do you think of this idea?”

Leaning forward, he looked at the table in front of them, various charities, sporting events and clothing ideas riddled in piles of papers across the top of it. Something about one of the t-shirts caught his eye, pulling it towards him he eyed the design before scooting it over towards Misha. “What about this?”

Both of the men laugh as they shook their heads, making it clear that Jensen had been zoned out a little longer than he had intended to be. “That’s actually the one that we had picked out to,” Misha said, pulling the paper closer to him as well, inspecting it’s contents closely. “It’s the one that is partnered up with the battered women’s shelter.”

The laughter shared just a moment ago went somber as all three eyes stared at the little paper in front of them. Jensen was the first to break the sudden silence, “I think this is the one then.”

“Agreed,” stated Jared.

“Domestic violence needs all the support it can get,” agreed Misha before slamming his hand down on the table and giving both men an excited grin. “We’re gonna break the internet with this one.”

\--

That itch was back.

It was slowly becoming more of a craving than anything. But it always seemed to creep up on him at the end of the day, usually right around the time that everyone was heading home to their wives. It was exactly the kind of thing that Jensen was trying to avoid. Especially that his wife had been hinting around the fact that she would be in her “fertile” window for the last two days.

He thought back to the night before, when he asked her if he was a bad person and she assured him that it wasn’t her call to make. And she was right, she didn’t even know his name - or if she did, she had one hell of a poker face.

“Hey there handsome,” her voice, even as a whisper, was the only thing that he heard in the loud club as she made his way towards him. “I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up.”

Her figure stood before him, her fists resting on her hips as she looked up at him. The image before him made him smile. “How could I miss a night with you?”

He caught the glimpse of a smirk on those plump lips of hers and he was momentarily reminded of the way they felt pushed up against his. Jensen wanted to convince himself that he had dreamt up this woman, that she wasn’t his vice in these trying times, but the way she swayed her hips towards him had him aching to touch her again.

Touching was against the rules though; well for him, at least.

She stood before him now, looking up at him through decorated lashes. “Maybe I thought you had someone better to see.”

Jensen licked his bottom lip briefly while taking her in, wanting nothing more than to place his hands on hips and bring her up to meet his. “Believe me, there is no one else I would rather see tonight.”

The noise of pleasure from her throat at his words was not missed by his ears. Without another sound, she reached down and laced her fingers through his, turning and giving Jensen a full view of her perky ass. Sure, he knew that there were others there, possibly some who would recognize him, but right now he just needed the distraction. And that’s what she was - his distraction.

She led them through the semi-crowded main area, shrouded with tables and chairs, almost all of them facing the main stage. There was a room off to the left of the area, covered with a thick black curtain, it had some sort of kitchy name that he really never paid attention to. Nonetheless, it was a place that he was growing more fond of by the evening.

The man standing by the entrance gave a curt nod and shifted the curtain allowing them to walk through the threshold. Once safely tucked away from possible prying eyes, Jensen tugged on her arm halting her steps and turning to look at him from over her shoulder. “I still don’t know your name,” he spoke softly, pulling her closer to him. “And it’s been driving me crazy.”

“You know my name,” she answered, giving him that smirk once more that did things to his cock. “And I like to think you image yourself moaning it.”

Despite the way he hardened at the accuracy of her words, he pulled her closer while taking a risk and running a hand across her cheek while a low chuckle echoed in the dimness of the room. He loved the way she leaned into his touch, as she always did when he stole this sacred opportunity. “I think we both know Daisy isn’t your real name.”

“Maybe it is and maybe it isn’t.”

She didn’t waste a moment, nor did she give him a chance to rebuttal, instead taking a step back and pulling him towards the overly plush couch. This time she spun around until her back was towards the entrance and pushed him gently down to a sitting position; giving him one of the best views he had been daydreaming about.

He already knew the drill.

Jensen sat, staring at the woman before him as the lights seemed to dim a bit more and her hips began to swing in perfect timing with one of his favorite songs. It wasn’t long before one of her co-workers slipped through the curtain carrying a tray with his staple bottle of scotch teetering on the edge.

This was his happy place.

Daisy eyed him, almost as if she was making sure that he was comfortable with all that was around him. His hooded eyes and lazy smirk as he sipped on his drink while watching her move her body, running her hands up her frame and into her hair - made her have the sudden urge to let him do it.

But this was not the place for those kinds of things to happen.

\--

A hard jab in the rib and Jensen woke up to find his wife hovering over him with her arms crossed, hair tossed up in a messy bun and the staple look of irritation written all over her face.

“Sleep well?” She spat in his direction, the crease between her eyebrows deepening as he sat up with a groan. “I know the couch isn’t the most comfortable place to wake up.”

He didn’t even know how he got home last night. Daisy just kept on asking her girl to bring him as many drinks as he wanted, hell, he wasn’t even sure if he had paid her last night. _Wait_ , he thought, ignoring the annoyed looking Dee while he patted around his jacket before letting out a sigh of relief. Once he felt the familiar little rectangle of his leather wallet did he relax - well only a little bit.

“Jensen.”

He sighed, standing up and stretching the best that he could in his cramped and creased clothing. Desperately wanting skip the argument and head straight to the shower, he was quick to express his atonement. “I’m sorry Dee, I got a little caught up last night.”

“Yeah?” She asked, her arms squeezing together tighter, pulling at the fabric of her sweater. “You smell like a strip club.”

Despite the nervous chuckle, his stomach gave a sickening twist - whether it was from all the alcohol or because she was attempting to call his bluff was a mystery to him. Turning towards the stairs, he shook his head. “Ha, yeah, I’m gonna go shower.”

“Jensen?”

With a sigh, he turned back towards Danneel. “Yeah?”

“Promise me you’ll come home tonight.”

\--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback keeps me going. <3


	3. 3.

**TWO**

You glanced around the room, smiling at the women sitting with their children wrapped securely in their laps while they listened to the usual storytime for the evening. It was something that many of the women had requested continue throughout the weeknights - something about it gave everyone a sense of closure on the day.

“Hey,” Kris came up beside you, glancing at the where your eyes were trained. “Got a sec?”

“Always.”

Her head tilted to the right a bit, signaling she needed you to follow her into the office. A final glance at the look of content faces all around before you followed quietly in the footsteps of your friend. Kris closed the door softly behind the two of you before she turned on her heel and an overly excited grin plastered on her face.

“What’s up?” You asked with a raised eyebrow, eyeing her from head to toe. You could tell she was excited about something - she was practically vibrating from head to toe.

The piece of paper in her hands flew in front of your face. It was crinkled at the center and a little worn down a bit at the edges, making you know for a fact that your best friend had been carrying this around for a bit while more than likely looking for an opportunity to show it to you. There was a solid white t-shirt printed on the front with what looked like a couple of random drawings on the left breast place; one looked to be a blue tie, another an image of a classic looking car and another with a funky looking star with flames around the rims. Just underneath the picture was what appeared to be the back of the t-shirt, with “Saving People” written in large dark blue letters and some other sayings stacked underneath.

You stared at it for a moment longer, not quite sure what this had to do with Kris’s excitement. “What is this? Some sort of new wardrobe choice?”

Her tongue clicked against her front teeth as she pulled the paper out of your hands so fast, you knew for sure that you would have paper cuts. You hissed, “Note to self; avoid hand sanitizer for a couple days.”

“You’re ridiculous,” she stated with an eye roll before folding the paper back up and tucking it into the back pocket of her jeans. “Do you remember when I filled out that thing to kind of get a little more publicly out for the shelter?”

“Yeah, some sort of contest right?”

“Not quite,” she shook her head, dark curls starting to escape the hold on her ponytail. Kris made her way around her desk, sitting in the worn down desk chair on the other side while you opted to continue to stand. Sitting down meant it was going to be that much harder to get ready for work later. “I was more like a submit what you got and possibly win a ton of money.”

“So a contest,” you stated, smirking when she glared over at you. “Okay, fine, a... opportunity that could help us a lot. Better?”

The mildly amused smile she gave you was short lived while a massive one took over her face once more. “Anyway,” She dragged on the ending vowel. “We won.”

“I thought it wasn’t a contest?”

“Shut it,” she laughed while bouncing up in her seat. “A charity called Random Acts picked us up.” Your friend leaned forward again, her chocolate eyes sparkling under the horribly lit office. “They work with some celebrities to do all kinds of good deeds and to help people and even organizations like ours. We have a couple of them coming by tomorrow morning to take a look around and see what they can do.”

“Sounds like it’s just some sort of publicity stunt.”

She gave a shrug. “Who cares. It gives us money and more time to keep the doors open, I’m not going to complain over a couple of photos.”

You thought about the paper she had almost killed you with literally moments ago. “And what does all this have to do with a t-shirt?”

“Where do you think all the money is going to come from?”

You chewed your lip fighting back your urge to grin, “A big fat check?”

“You’re such a smart ass, you know that?” She rolled her eyes again but still gave you a laugh as she leaned back in her chair now. You could just tell how relaxed she was feeling as her shoulders slouched and her legs lifted to rest on the top of the desk. This was a huge relief for the both of you - incoming funds. “They are going to promote the shirt as means of spreading the word and getting the support of their fans.”

A huge part of you was excited about this opportunity, but another was terrified. The last thing you wanted was your face to be plastered all over this campaign, especially not when it was Kris’s baby. “Who are these celebrities handing over this big fat check?”

Another small shrug. “I honestly didn’t do much research when I was applying, but I do know that they will be coming by sometime tomorrow to smooth out some details. Do you think you could be here by ten?”

Nodding your head, you figured you be done with work come four-ish in the morning, that would at least give you enough time to get _some_ sleep, caffeine and hopefully a hot shower. “Only for you.”

\--

Despite the hell of a night that you had, one of which required an urgent call to the police station to get a very disgruntled drunk gentleman out of the club, you still managed to arrive on time to work. All evidence of your night job scrubbed down the drain earlier that morning.

“Oh, good,” Kris breathed when you walked through the doors of her office. “I was starting to think you had overslept.”

You raised an eyebrow and watched as your best friend pace back and forth in front of her desk. “When do I ever oversleep?”

She sighed, pausing when she reached the small mirror that hung above the bookshelf on the opposite end of her office. You watched as she glanced at herself, probably picking apart the pieces of herself that she had expressed hatred of towards you until she shoved a dark curl behind her ear and turned back to you.

“Never. I’m not even convinced that you do sleep.”

She wasn’t entirely wrong. Shifting your weight in your conservative heels, you smoothed a hand down your white button-down blouse before stifling a small yawn. “What time are they supposed to be here?”

Kris stole a glance at the clock above your head. “About ten minutes.”

“Cool,” you nodded. “I’m gonna grab some coffee from the kitchen.”

“Hurry back.”

You turned the same way you had come in, only this time making a left instead of a right. One of the newer and older women were sitting at the little table the two of you had just bought a couple weeks ago - a much welcome addition to the shelter, making herself a small cup of tea and glancing over one of the older magazine that had been scrounged up.

“Mornin’” she smiled up at you.

“Good morning,” you returned the gesture. Reaching for the semi-freshly brewed pot of coffee and a clean mug off the dish rack. Pouring the dark liquid into your cup, you brought it up, smelling the aroma of your saving grace today. “How’d you sleep?”

“Uh, alright, I guess.”

That voice that answered was not one of a woman's. It was much deeper, silkier even - just the sound of it startled you a bit, but excited you to some degree. Spinning around so fast, you managed to slosh coffee onto your shirt while realizing that the woman who had been in there moments ago had left. “Fuck,” you muttered looking down at the culprit in your hands.

A low chuckled came from the doorway, followed by heavy footsteps. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

You shook your head at the unknown man, turning to put your cup down and reach for a dish towel, even though you knew that it was a lost cause at this point. “You’re fine,” you spoke in their general direction, dabbing at the damp spot on your blouse. “I just thought you were someone else.”

“Who were you expecting?”

A small chuckle escaped followed by your sigh at the damage. “Well,” you threw the small cloth down, turning a bit. “I wasn’t expecting -” Familiar moss-colored eyes stared back at you, wide and surprised, with a parted pout that matched what his eyes were silently screaming. “You.”

The steps he was taking into your direction halted. “Daisy?”

\--

 


	4. 3

**THREE**

His question echoed off the silence of the little kitchenette they were having a staring contest within. The woman standing in front of Jensen was not where he was used to finding her. Fully clothed and looking like she belonged more in an office than a women’s shelter; was the very last place he ever imaged bumping into her.

“Daisy?” He asked again as her face paled and she stole a quick glance behind him at the open door. He could hear Jared and Misha laughing about something as they made their way over to the office with the manager in tow. “What are you doing here?”

It was an inappropriate question, considering where they were, but it just kind of slipped out with no warning.

“Uhm,” she looked down at her hand, absently stroking where a nice dark stain was settling in. “I work here.”

“No you don’t,” he stated with a head shake, eyes continually boring into her.

She scoffed, opening her mouth to retort when he could sense some standing in the doorway behind him. “Y/N?”

It was the manager, Kris, probably checking in on why it was taking so long just to grab a small cup of coffee. He wasn’t expecting to run into anyone on his path to caffeine, but it looked like the universe had different plans. Jensen watched as her shoulders slouched at the reveal of her actual name, not the one that she preferred to go by in the late hours of the night.

“Yeah?”

He didn’t have to turn to know that they were sharing a look. The dismissive gleam in her eye was a dead giveaway as she stared heavily at the woman behind him. “Uhm,” he felt the sideways look she probably gave his back. “We’re ready.”

Y/N’s eyes darted to him briefly. “Okay, be right there in a sec.”

The two of them stared at each other as Kris’s footsteps dwindled away towards where her office was located. Jensen watched as Y/N stood, shifting her weight evenly, unsure of what to say. Despite the fact that she looked more like a normal nine to five kind of girl, he couldn’t ignore that fact that she looked just a stunning as she did when he watched the way she moved for him at night.

“We should probably join them.”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts, a place he seemed to be living in a lot more these days, and right now it was imagining her from just the other night. It was not making this encounter any better. “I was going to grab some coffee first.”

Y/N tilted her head to the side, lips curving ever so slightly. “Why? I don’t recall seeing you out last night, so you must have a different reason for being tired.”

Was she teasing him? Now it was his turn to feel his face pale at her question. Somehow, he felt guilty, like the fact that he went home to his wife last night, something he had promised he would do, instead of putting down money to drown his sorrows in her skin was a sin.

“Let’s just say I had plans.”

Jensen noticed the way her lips pursed at his words, tugging the corners a little too tight at what he could safely assume was a forced smile. “Well, I’m glad.”

She turned towards the counter again, letting out a huff of air while she vigorously scrubbed at the stain on her front. He couldn’t help the way his eyes roamed up the back of her body, settling in on the way her ass curved just the right way in that pencil skirt. A soft shake of his head reminded him that this wasn’t the place for those kinds of thoughts.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

“Excuse me?” He didn’t need her to turn around to know that there was a glare being shot into the sink.

“You need some club soda or something along those lines,” he took a small step in her direction before stealing a glance fridge to his right and deciding that the chances of club soda being stocked in there would be slim. “But really your best bet would be to get it washed right away.”

Her shoulders sagged and he heard her throw the washcloth down in the shallow sink. “Yeah, well I can’t exactly do that right now, can I?”

Now it was his turn to shift a little bit uncomfortable, she was clearly agitated by something, but he was having a hard time deciding if it was from him being there or because she had ruined her shirt. Something in his gut told him that he better not ask.

“So, um,” Jensen ran a hand through his somewhat mess of hair. “I guess we should head back over there now.”

“Suppose so.”

He watched as she took another breath, this time squaring her shoulders before turning to face him. A couple steps forward and she was eye level in those heels, boring into his with an intensity he hadn’t seen before. “And in there, you don’t know me. This is our first time meeting, any mention of the name Daisy will be completely ignored. Understand?”

She didn’t give him a moment to respond but instead pushed her way past him and into the doorway. Her head was still held high as he took the moment to collect his thoughts, watching her practically march her way into Kris’s office. The moment was paused, stuck on repeat in his mind while he made the decision to still grab that coffee he had told everyone he was going to get.

When he finally made his way into the office, he caught the tail end of what he assumed was Y/N’s way of explaining the ugly stain on her front. “Looks like I might have to just wash my shirt here before heading out,” she smiled, eyes glancing over towards him briefly.

“I have a spare shirt in the car,” Jensen blurted suddenly, everyone shifting their attention towards him in the doorway. “I mean, that is if you don’t want to wait until later.”

She eyed him questionably. “Uhm, thanks, but I think I’ll be okay.”

Deciding to just shrug, Jensen took the empty seat next to Jared, but directly in front to the girl that had his head all in a spiral. He settled in, tipping his full cup of coffee in her direction with a smirk before turning his attention to Misha and Kris. This was all part of Misha’s baby and he and Jared were just along for the ride.

“So,” Misha leaned forward, that excited smile of his brightening up the whole room. “As you know, you’ve been chosen as our charity for Random Acts, but as we move forward with prepping everything, we would love to know a little more about what you do here at the shelter and what got you started in the first place.”

Kris offered back a similar grin to the man before her. “Well, it’s a bit of a long story. But one that I might need a little bit of permission before telling.”

“Permission?”

Kris leaned back in her chair and stole a glance at the woman behind her. “Y/N?”

There was a shrug and a small nod as she tried to shrink herself even more into the background. It was completely out of character to what Jensen was used too. Kris turned her attention back towards the men before her, this time her expression was much soberer.

“To be honest, I started this shelter because my best friend was in an abusive marriage and needed an out. She had literally nothing to her name, he had stripped everything from her - made her quit her job, put all their money in an account only he had access to and at one point even put a tracker on her cellphone just because she wanted to go out for drinks to celebrate me getting a promotion.”

All of us had our eyes trained on Kris, but Jensen couldn’t help noticing the way that Y/N literally seemed to be shrinking against the wall. It was making his stomach churn. Still, Kris went on, “One night, she said she would call and she never did.”

There was silence now. He could feel the way that each of them were holding their breath, hoping that there was more to the story than she was leading on. Jared was the first one to break what felt like the never-ending silence. “Did, uh, did something happen?”

Kris had looked down, studying her hands like there was something stuck to them, but when she looked up there were tears in her eyes. “He, uh,” she took a shaky breath and gave an apology at the wave of emotion that had clearly overcome her. “The asshole beat her within an inch of her life and then left her there to die.”

Y/N was in front of him and then suddenly she wasn’t. In the blink of an eye, she had managed to race out the door and towards the front of the building, slamming the heavy glass door behind her. Something in Jensen told him he needed to follow her, despite the fact that she had told him they didn’t know each other outside of this room - he _needed_ to make sure she was okay.

With no explanation, he followed hot on her trail. He knew that there would be some questions later, but he would deal with it when the time came.

The cool air hit him hard as he blinked at the sting it brought with it. “Y/N.”

She was standing in front of him, teetering cautiously close to the edge of the curb. Her arms were wrapped tightly around her chest, protecting her from the cold and whatever seemed to be running through her mind.

“Why are you here?” She asked just above a whisper, that almost got lost in the whoosh of the wind. “Why did you follow me?”

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

She spun, her make-up smudged and running down her face when she faced him. All traces of the confident woman he was slowly getting to know were gone. Out here she was raw and she was broken. She was real. And damn it, he wanted to fix her.

“I’m not okay. I’ll never be okay.” She stepped away from the curb only to begin a wobbly stride back and forth in front of him. “That girl in there, that’s me. That story Kris is telling, it’s about me. I am the reason that my best friend is several hundred thousand dollars in debt.”

“Y/N,” he started.

“No. You don’t understand,” she spun on her heel again. “You see me like this woman who doesn’t have have a problem getting naked for men. You probably think with a profession like that, it’s no wonder I got my ass handed to me by my husband. You see me as the woman who gets you through the night when you don’t want to go home to your wife.”

She paused, taking a deep breath. “You know pieces of me and I don’t even know you.”

He took a dare, doing something he probably shouldn’t. Jensen reached forward and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her body as close to him as he could, halting her movements. “It’s Jensen.” 


	5. 4

**Four**

You stood wrapped in Jensen’s arms longer than a pair of strangers should. 

He didn’t say much, just casually stroked your hair in the kind of comforting way that old friends do while mumbling that you were okay. That you were safe and that you were not a horrible person. If only you could actually believe him and not have your mind reminding you that this man was a customer; he paid to see you bare your all at night. 

You knew that you were an escape for Jensen. 

So why were you so surprised that after blowing off the rest of the meeting and encouraging him to stay that he would be showing up at your other-other job? 

“Daisy,” he whispered, standing when you stepped into the back room where Warrick had said there was a customer, who asked for you by name. 

His voice halted you in your tracks. Exhaling a breath, you crossed your arms while staring down the man in front of you - still wearing the same suit from earlier. “Jensen, what are you doing here?” 

He was still standing, taking a step towards you before pausing at your question. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” 

“So, you came to the strip club?” You asked with a frustrated sigh. 

You didn’t know what he was thinking. You barely even knew why you were so upset with him being there. He was still paying, quite a bit might you add, to just be standing in that overly dim room where nothing but a thin curtain was keeping the two of you from the rest of the world. Was it because he now knew your deep dark secret?

The dark blue jacket of his suit moved up as he shrugged in your general direction with downward cast eyes. “I thought it would be weirder if I showed up at your other job asking more questions.” 

“What kind of questions would you be asking?” 

Despite the fact that you were confused and surprised to see him in front of you, you couldn’t help the smirk threatening to tug at your lips. His hand scratched the back of his neck while he blew out some hot air, eyes hovering over where you had just walked in from what you could only imagine was his only way out of this semi-uncomfortable situation. “I wanted to see if you wanted to grab a drink.” 

“A drink?” You asked with eyebrows raised as Cindy strutted through, handing Jensen his usual choice of poison. “You mean we can’t get that anywhere else?” 

You could read the utter embarrassment that crept up on his face. Those emerald colored eyes of his closed briefly and this time you couldn’t help, but let out a giggle. “Yeah, alright, that was stupid.”

“Besides, I can’t drink on the job anyway.”

It was his turn to give you a sideways glance, you knew that it was not uncommon for patrons to buy their girls shots or the occasional mixed drink. The rule of thumb was if it was getting close to the end of your shift or even closing time, you were free to help yourself. Sometimes going home with a guest meant more money in your pocket, but it was flirting dangerously close to being illegal. 

He took a slow sip of his whiskey, looking you up and down. “Is that a professional choice or a personal one?”

Earlier in the day, his lingering gaze made you uncomfortable, it made you feel exposed. But here - here you were in your element. You were used to the ogles, the gropes, even the catcalls. It made you feel like you were something to be sought after, even if the feeling was fleeting.

“More of a personal one,” you shrugged, stealing a glance in the direction that you knew Warrick would be watching from the security cameras. Guests always thought the back room were “private,” but the truth was that the boss man needed to protect his investments. “I like to make sure I am in control of my actions.” 

“Hm,” he hummed, sitting back down and patting the spot next to him on the overly cushioned couch. “So the other night when you were drinking from my cup?” 

You scanned the spot that he was rubbing absently, deciding to stay where you were while you answered. “It was the end of my shift. A couple sips weren’t going to get me drunk.”

That hum that followed seemed to be satisfied with your response. “And that kiss?” 

A part of you was surprised that he would even bring that up, but you knew it was only a matter of time before it circled back around. Warrick had already given you shit that night saying that unless you had plans to follow that man home for the night, you had no business making out with him on the floor.  

“That was,” you paused, not really knowing what it was, “well, I guess we can just say that I was acting on impulse.”

“I liked that impulse.” 

“Jensen,” you started, moving just a step closer towards him when there was a sharp rap on the wall just outside the door. It was the warning from the bouncer that Warrick was suggesting you get your ass moving or he would do it for you. “I - you, you don’t need to feel bad for me.”

He sat up again, placing his glass down on the small clear table to his right. “Is that why you think I’m here?” 

Hearing a new song begin, you started to sway your hips ever so slightly, using the movement as an excuse to turn away from the green-eyed man in front of you. Your mind couldn’t take the intenseness that they were throwing at you as you answered. “Isn’t it?”

The number one rule of all paying customers who came into the establishment was that they could look, but they couldn’t touch. You had seen daring men be banned from the place because they continuously tested that boundary. 

Jensen just broke the cardinal rule when he reached forward and tugged on your wrist. It halted your moments when he tugged a little harder, forcing you to turn and face him. “I’m not here because I feel bad or even sorry for you.” 

“Then what? Am I going to be the next charity case that you work on?”

“Dammit Y/N,” he hissed quietly before standing up, the grip on your wrist tightening enough to make you wince. “Why do you keep thinking I have some ulterior motive with every little thing I do?”

You yanked your hand out of his grasp and took a step back, ignoring the two sharp raps that followed behind you. Warrick could shove it right now. “Because I know guys like you Jensen. You have all this money, a wife you don’t love anymore but seem to still go home to every night. You think because you know my real name and just part of my backstory that you can fix me. That you can be the one to make my life better.”

His eyes darkened as he took a step towards you. “You think I want to fix you?” 

“Jensen enough of this cat and mouse. Just tell me what the fuck you want from me or get the hell out of here.”

“I think the answer is pretty fucking obvious.”

You huffed, glaring at him. “You’ll have to enlighten my small minded brain then.” 

“Jesus fucking christ,” he seethed, something brewing heavily behind his words. “I want you, Y/N.” 

You laughed. Like actual stomach clenching bent over laughter to the point that you could feel the tears pricking at the corner of your eyes. “Yeah, okay.” 

“You don’t believe me?”

Swiping at the moisture that was messing with the glitter that laced your eyelids, you gave him a cheeky grin. “I don’t really have a reason to believe you.”

One second you were bent over laughing hysterically, the next you were eye to eye with the green monster in front of you with his hands on either side of your face, forcing you to stand tall against him. “I want you, Y/N.”

“You want an idea of me,” you countered, staring back at him.

His eyes glossed over your face for a moment before he released you from his grip and took a step back. “I’ve never loved my wife.” 

“Excuse me?”

He stayed standing, turning just enough to be able to grab his glass and down it in two gulps. It made your throat burn just watching him. “We got married way too young, fresh out of high school. We got married because she was pregnant.” 

You didn’t really know what to say. You were used to random men telling you their life stories, their reasons to justify why they were getting lap dances from barely dressed women and getting drunk off their asses. Some were innocent like bachelor parties or military gents on leave trying to test their luck of getting an attractive woman back to their hotel. Others were skin crawling skeeves who liked to spend all their free time at the strip, like Paul who was there from the time the joint opened until it closed. 

So, like all the other times, you waited for him to continue. 

“It was more of a shotgun wedding. I was excited and nervous to become a father. I wanted my child to have both of their parents in their life, so marrying her seemed like the best decision. She, of course, was eager to marry me, saying she had wanted to since the day we met.” 

“So you decided that spending forever with someone that you didn’t love was the best choice to make?”

There was tension to be read between his shoulders as turned his back towards you. “Can you honestly tell me that you loved your ex-husband?” 

That was a low blow.

“Yes, Jensen, I loved him. Even when he was on the verge of killing me, one of my last thoughts was what I could have done differently to not make him not hate me so much. To just prove to him that I loved him that much more.” 

“Y/N,” he started, “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

“Save it.” 

 

\--

You had apologized repeatedly to Kris about walking out on her meeting, but she just kept assuring you that it really was okay, she reminded you that she understood what it meant to hear that. The two of you barely ever spoke about what had happened, so hearing it being told to a couple of strangers had to difficult. Today wasn’t going any different. “Kris, again, I’m so, so, so, so sorry about the other day.”

“I swear to all things holy if you apologize to me one more time, I’m firing you.” 

“Can you fire your business partner?” You asked half-joking, poking her gently in the shoulder as she pulled out a couple more files from the cabinet, adding to the ever-growing stack on her desk. “I mean, I know I’m your best friend and all.” 

“There’s only one way to find out.” 

You gave a bit of a nervous chuckle, fingers running through your hair as you stole a glance at the clock. “What time are they coming?” 

“Noon.”

You had spent all morning trying to think of just the right excuse to get out of this, but nothing would even come close. Telling Kris that there was a conflict of interest between you and Jensen would mean telling her about your nighttime job; you had worked really hard to keep your two jobs separate from each other - well enough, that they weren’t even in the same town. And you had already done her dirty by leaving her high and dry at the first meeting. 

“You have to stick around this time,” her voice was directed towards you even if her body wasn’t. “I promise we won’t be talking about anything personal, Misha had just suggested that we pick a couple of guests to showcase in the charity.” 

That would explain the pile that was growing in front of her.

“Wouldn’t that take away the whole anonymous part of this place?” 

She turned, using an elbow to close the drawer she had been perched in front for most of the morning. Her chocolate eyes had dark circles under them as if she had been up all night, which was very rare for her. “That’s why we aren’t going to showcase them with pictures - just more like a story.” 

“And you are trying to decide who we should use.” 

“Mhm.” 

There was something about her tone that was gnawing at you. “Kris, what’s wrong?”

She ignored you, walking around her desk to where her chair was stationed and plopping down before the assortment before her. You waited a couple beats, watching as she picked up one folder, tossing it to the side and picking up another one while chewing on her thumbnail. It was a nasty habit that she only did when there was something weighing heavily on her. 

“Kris?” 

There was a sigh and you didn’t even have to wait to know that you were the source of her frustration. “It’s just,” she looked up at you, eyes still more tired looking than ever before. “I really wanted to use your story, but -”

“You don’t want me to panic and run out again?” You offered with a small smile. 

A tired nod with a soft chuckle from her allowed you pulled up one of the chairs, that always sat across from her desk, closer to where she was sitting. She looked so small in comparison to the mountain of papers before her. If telling your story was going to give your best friend exactly what she needed, then you were sure that you could suck it up and push through. How else would you have gotten this far in life otherwise? 

“I’ll do it.” 

Her head shot up just as there was a knock on the door. Kris offered her guests a quick smile before her attention honed back to you. “Are you sure?”

The pit of your stomach clenched. “I’m sure.” 

An overly excited smile took over her face as she reached forward and gave your arm a squeeze. The footsteps from the door crept closer and you didn’t have to turn to feel his presence any more than you already did. 

Misha’s chipper voice broke the brief silence first. “What are we sure about?”

Kris’s eyes were shining with nothing with the kind of look a proud mother gives her child for learning the ability to do something all on their own for the very first time. She moved her gaze to one of the men behind you. “Y/N agreed to be our showcase spotlight for the article.” 

“Really?” His familiar gruff voice asked.

Kris nodded excitedly. As much as you felt like throwing up, the look of relief on your best friend’s was worth fighting through whatever holds your ex-husband still had on you. Keeping yourself facing forward, you answered curtly. “Yeah, really.”

“That’s amazing,” Misha stated, stepping into your line of sight and giving you what you could tell was a genuine smile. “Really, Y/N, I think that it's going to help a lot of women.”

You offered him up a shrug, not quite sure how to respond as your mind was running a million miles a minute - second-guessing your decision and the determination to not let anyone else down in your life was having an intense battle in your head.

“So,” Misha clapped his hands together. “We have a photographer waiting in the car. Would it be okay if we brought him in just to take a couple pictures of the place? They wanted a little something before the reporter comes in next week.” 

“Absolutely.” 

You stayed in your seat as you listened to everyone leave, telling them that you would follow shortly. Nodding at your friend and listening until the door clicked behind them, did you let go of the breath you were unaware you had been holding. Your heart was racing and tears sprang into your eyes as you were overwhelmed with nothing, but utter fear. 

Even though everyone was gone, you knew that one still remained. He didn’t say a word, unlike the night before where he just seemed to keep spitting things out, instead he came and stood before you, kneeling in front of where you were digging your nails into the palm of your hand. You were still mad at him but like all the other times he came through in providing that little bit of comfort you were missing. 

He pulled your hands from your lap, lacing his fingers with your own. His free hand reached up and brushed away a stray tear before cautiously tracing its way down to your chin, forcing you to look up at him. 

The green in his eyes seemed to be clouded with little specks of brown, something you had never noticed until now. As he looked over your profile - searching for something. Gingerly, his index finger left your chin to pursue the direction of your bottom lip, tugging on it softly. You watched as he looked at your mouth vehemently before scooting himself closer. 

His eyes stayed searching before he spoke softly. “Can I kiss you?”

“Please.” 

His lips stung as they pushed into yours. All caution is thrown to the wind when you were reminded of the way he tasted - even if you knew that it would be the sting that kills you.


	6. 5;

**FIVE**

The kiss lingered, his lips hovering just over yours when he pulled away. His eyes continually seeming to search yours as if he was looking for some sort of approval. All of two heartbeats passed before you found yourself leaning back into him, that desire from what felt like forever ago creeping its way back into your thoughts.

But the sound of footsteps making their way back towards the office separated what you were craving more of.

What you were not expecting to happen how often you found yourself fantasizing about what could have happened if Jared hadn’t circled his way back around to find his friend. All you caught yourself thinking of when you stared at your ceiling while trying to get a couple hours of sleep before meeting with Kris was how those files would have looked tossed about the floor.

“Okay, seriously,” Kris eyed you from head to toe, arms crossed in that typical motherly manner of hers. “Do you ever sleep?”

You gave your friend a shy smirk. “Sometimes.”

“What the hell do you do every night that makes you look like you get no sleep?”

Chewing your bottom lip, you glanced around the cafe absently, watching one of the bus boys really scrub down a table, trying to avoid answering her for two reasons. One, you didn’t want to admit that a certain green-eyed man had been haunting you with some less than innocent thoughts until the wee hours of the morning and two, you still were not prepared to tell her about what you did to make ends meet.

“So what are we doing here?” You asked, still watching the poor kid struggle with what looked like a sticker someone’s child had slapped onto the table. “I thought today was going to be an admin day.”

“It is.”

Kris came into your line of sight once more as you meant her with a questioning stare. “Doesn’t admin mean that we are supposed to do some sort of work?”

She nodded, “We are.”

“Annnd, what kind of work are you planning to do in a coffee shop that we can’t do at the office?”

Your friend leaned forward, elbows on the edge of the table as she looked over you carefully. It was a look that you were beginning to see more of these days - like she was trying to choose her words wisely around you. It was beginning to make you feel a little more on edge than you were used to with her.

Her stare hovered over that certain spot just under your left shoulder blade, where a special little scare stayed hidden from the world. “I think we need to work on you.”

“Excuse me?”

Her hands quickly went up in a defensive motion as she leaned back away from you slowly. “I mean this in a good way, it’s been two years now, but I think you need to talk to someone about what happened.”

She knew that you had been going to therapy. Well, you hadn’t in a couple months, but that was due to some insurance issues and you sure as hell couldn’t afford to pay out of pocket. Kris didn’t know those nitty-gritty details, but she knew the bare bones of the fact that you had been talking to a professional. “Someone, like you?”

Her head shook side to side as the worrisome look stayed put. “I know the details, Y/N. I saw the aftermath, I’ve been there for a lot of your recovery.” She took a heavy breath, pausing to look down at her chewed down nails. “I think it might be in our best interest if you do a practice run for the article.”

Now it was your turn to stare at her, that panicked feeling starting to claw at your chest when you tried to think about explaining what you went through. “And you want to do a practice run with me? Right now?”

She offered you a shrug. “No, not here and not right now. Unless that is what you want, but,” she leaned back a bit as the server brought over a blueberry muffin she had ordered to go with her coffee. The thing was about the size of her head. “I want you to talk to somebody.”

If you knew your friend well enough, you knew that she probably had someone in mind and it was probably the reason that she was having this conversation with you in public since she knew you were less than likely to leave her hanging with the bill when you got up to walk away. “Who, Kris?”

Ripping off a piece of the massive muffin and popping it in her mouth, she gave you a shrug. “What about one of the guys?”

“The guys?”

“Yeah,” she repeated the same action, sliding the plate towards the center of the table. “Like Jensen, Jared or Misha.”

Your mind was reeling at the thought of sitting them down and walking through what Kris already knew. “Why them?”

“Well, for starters, it’s not me. And two, if you want to be able to talk to the reporter about the shit you’ve been through, you’re going to need to tell someone who doesn’t have a clue. And be able to do it without running off like you heard a gunshot.”

Leaning back you glared at her, partly because you knew that she was right and because a bigger part of you was thinking that the last thing you planned to spend your weekend doing was fighting through the panic attack inducing thoughts of that night.

“The interview is on Monday,” her voice came through the wall you were starting to build in your mind. “Don’t be mad, but I asked them already who would be willing to talk to you.”

She waited for a beat, but you already knew who would have volunteered to be there for you. “I gave Jensen your number.”

\--

Roughly about an hour or so had passed since Kris told you that Jensen had your number, which had sent your stomach into a fit of unruly butterflies before he shot you a quick text. It was short and sweet, basically asking when he could meet up with you and where. You appreciated the fact that he was to the point this time around.

You had suggested your apartment, shooting out the address and beginning the act of sprucing up the place. Rarely having company and never really being home meant you had dishes from two weeks ago piling up, laundry that had been thrown about and an unmade bed. Plus it was a nice distraction from the fact that Jensen was coming over to your own personal safe haven.

All sense of mystery was about to go out the window, but all that really left the day he found out your real name.

There was a rhythmic knock, just as you had finished drying off the last of your clean dishes. “Just a minute,” you shouted in your door’s general direction as you placed the saucer delicately in its place.

Feet felt like lead as you made your way over to the door, smoothing over your t-shirt carefully. This type of conversation was meant for yoga pants and an old t-shirt, even if it wasn’t how Jensen was used to seeing you - it was the only way you’d be able to have some control of the conversation. With a deep breath through your nose, you swung open the door to see that familiar moss-eyed man offering you a lazy grin with two to-go cups of coffee in hand.

“Evening,” he said, causing you to notice the slight drawl in his voice. “Sorry I’m a little late, there was a line at the coffee shop.”

His left hand stuck out towards you with one of the cups in hand, you eyed it like it was going to come to life and bite you at any given second. “You brought me some?”

When you stepped back a bit, the unvoiced invite to come into your foyer. His gray t-shirt appeared silky against his torso, but snug where the fabric wrapped around his bicep and he had paired himself with a dark pair of dark jeans and what appeared to be work boots. He slid past you with ease - allowing you to catch a whiff of what you could only assume was his shampoo from a possible earlier shower. It smelled minty and _clean_.

“Yeah,” he gave a shrug, glancing around the place briefly before his gaze circled back to you. “I hope that’s okay. I wasn’t sure how you liked it, so I just had them add a little cream and sugar.”

“No, no,” you took the paper cup from his hand before bringing it to your lips and sipping it. The liquid was luke-warm and not too sweet for your liking. “It’s perfect.”

He gave you an approving smile, looking around once more. His now free hand made its way to the back of his neck, rubbing it softly before he spoke again. “I hope you don’t mind that I offered to, uh, to help you.”

You shrugged this time, turning away from him and heading over to your small couch. Propping your feet up on the coffee table, you looked over at where he was standing and took another sip of your coffee. “Being completely honest, I probably would have asked you anyway.”

Jensen stayed where he was, looking at you on the couch. “Uh, do you want to talk here or?”

“Here,” you nodded, patting the couch in a way that you had him do to you before. You were keen on keeping eye contact with him as you spoke. “You can take your boots off and put them by the door.”

He did as he was told, slipping them off with a clunk and pushing them up against between the door and the hall. In a couple of long strides, he was sitting next to you on the couch, legs crossed so that his ankle was resting on his knee while you both sat back and enjoyed your coffee in an awkward silence. It wasn’t awkward in the sense that you were uncomfortable around him, but more so because you were dreading what was about to come.

“So,” Jensen started, putting his empty cup on the table in front of him and shifting himself so that he was facing you. “Sorry I haven’t really been around.”   
You knew he was referring to the fact that it had easily been a week since you had seen him at the club. Not that you minded, it was nice to just imagine he was something your mind concocted to help get you through your shifts, but having him sitting next to you was that little reminder that he was all too real.

“It’s okay,” you nodded, following his lead with your half-empty cup. “I’m sure you were busy.”

He gave a small snort as if he had just thought of some joke at your words. “Yeah, I guess busy is one way to put it.”

A cock of your head and you squinted your eyes at him. “What do you mean?”

“Nothing,” he answered quickly, stealing a glance behind you to where one of your many clocks sat on the wall. “Um, are you ready to get this started? Otherwise, I might be here all night.”

It was hard not to miss the glint in his eyes at the last part of his statement. Almost like he really would be okay with being stuck with you all night, but with how your mind had been playing certain scenarios in your head, you knew it would be wise to get this over with.

You looked away this time, pulling your knees up to your chest as you looked at the television remote sitting right in the middle of the table and contemplating if you wanted to put something on just for background noise. “Where should we start?”

“Wherever you are comfortable with, baby girl.”

\--

_You had slipped out of the apartment for a little under an hour - knowing that you needed to grab something for dinner tonight and to hopefully stop by the ATM to pick up some cash. He wouldn’t be home from work for another hour, so you knew this would need to be a quick little errand._

_Thankfully, the line at both the ATM and the store wasn’t busy. So you had been in and out of both places in under ten minutes, but on the walk home, you noticed a cute little flower boutique that happened to have your favorite flowers on sale. Another ten minutes or so and you had a beautiful arrangement of daisies in your hand, something that you knew would brighten up your time spent at home._

_Any sort of contentment vanished the moment you unlocked the main door to a pitch black living room. There was a heavy presence sitting on the couch waiting for your arrival, but you didn’t have the stomach to turn on the light._

_“Babe?” You asked, trying not to let the dread that was cementing itself in the pit of your stomach seep through your words. “You’re home early.”_

_Travis was quick to stand up and beat you to the door, closing it swiftly behind you while a little too softly pulling the bags and the flowers out of your grasp. You stayed perfectly still as he maneuvered his way in the dark towards the kitchen and back, his footsteps heavy against the hardwood floors._

_Your eyes cast downwards as you felt his nearness return. “Yes. I’m sure you can imagine my surprise to see that you weren’t here.”_

_“I’m sorry,” you started before you felt the sting along your cheek and the familiar metallic taste at the tip of your tongue._

_“How many times have I told you that I don’t want you leaving the apartment without me?” His voice hissed in your ear as the same hand that struck you found your chin and forced you to look towards his shadow. “Don’t you know the kind of vile men that are out there?”_

_“I-I just need to grab a couple things for dinner tonight.”_

_For as long as you could remember Travis always talked about these disturbing men that apparently roam the streets, slinking around like the sewer rats they were, even in broad daylight. He always spoke about how some of them would just look at you and begin to undress you with their eyes - last month seemed to have been the last straw for him. After you had gone out with Kris, she pointed out his familiar truck was trailing behind her while you made your way out for some sushi._

_You had to brush it off like it was nothing._

_“You should have waited until I got home,” his hot breath scraped against your cheek. “Now dinner is going to be a little late tonight, hm?”_

_Something in you clicked. Everything that Kris and others had been warning you about from the day you started dating him all seemed to be coming to light - the need to constantly put you down, make you feel like no one else in the world wanted to be with you except him, or that no one could give you everything that he could. He was controlling, which you knew, but you thought when you got married and he knew that you were going to be with him forever that grip he held over your social life would loosen._

_“Not if you let me get to the kitchen,” you responded, extending an arm to your left in the hopes of hitting the light switch. “I promise I’ll have dinner on the table in twenty minutes.”_

_There was a shift in the air as you felt the way his head shook side to side before you lucked out in finding the source of light. His hand holding your chin squeezed tightly as he pushed you back until you felt the coolness of the wall seep through your cotton t-shirt. “And that’s just going to make everything better?”_

_You gulped down the knot that was forming in your throat. “Y-Yes.”_

_The smirk he gave you made your stomach twist._

_Within a matter of seconds, he had sucker punched you so hard that you found yourself in the fetal position on the floor, clutching your abdomen tightly while you fought back the bile that was threatening to emerge from the back of your throat. His shoe came forward and made contact with where his fist had just been - with each solidifying kick you wanted nothing more than to change your choices from earlier in the day._

_You wanted to make him happy._

_Another blow and you spat out what you assumed was blood by the metal taste that passed by with it. “I’m sorry,” you managed to croak out softly. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”_

_There was a low laugh from him as he paused his assault, grabbing you by your wrists and hauling you back up towards him. You used the wall to hold up your now aching body while he held you at arm's length - looking at his damage._

_“When you defy my wishes, you anger me, love,” his same hand that struck you moments ago traced a gentle line down the length of your cheek. “There’s only one way you ever seem to learn your lesson.”_

\--

“At some point, I had passed out,” she choked out her words. “Kris found me that night and called 911. Turns out I had a lot of blood loss because even though I was unconscious, I still pissed Travis off.”

The woman clutching herself through the heavy sobs before Jensen was not what he was used to. She almost always surprised him with every new day that he had been seeing her. It was like night and day between the woman he found himself aching for and the woman who was so clearly broken that it made him frenzied at her words.

Right now, he wanted to reach out and touch her - to bring her back to reality, but something held him back. Maybe it was the fear that was still clearly etched on her face.

“Hey,” he whispered, scooting himself closer to her shaking frame while she swiped at a stray tear. “Hey, you’re safe. I’m here.”

Her breath caught for a moment and for the first time in the last twenty minutes or so, did she look up at him with red-rimmed eyes. Her chest rose and fell as she stared at him with some sort of depth, he counted to ten before braved scooting himself a little bit closer to her.

“Thank you,” she spoke softly, matching his tone while wiping at her lashes once more.

He brought a hand up and slowly brought it towards her tear-stained cheek, but he maintained eye contact in an efforts to make sure he was getting permission from unspoken words. She appeared to be standing her ground but didn’t flinch away from him as he expected. Gently, his thumb brushed away at some of the stray tears that had gotten lost in the muddle of her emotions.

When he pulled his hand away, her face turned towards his palm where she leaned into his grasp. He watched as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath; several in fact. It was like he was currently sitting on the other side of the room watching when she turned her mouth inward and gave the meaty part of his palm a soft kiss.

He sucked air in through his teeth, feeling the shock that always seemed to appear when her lips found him. “Y/N,” he started, but seemed to lack what was left of his sentence.

She sat forward, pushing her body closer to him now, completely throwing his train of thought off the rails for a moment. Once again, it was like night and day with her - the shattered woman who he wanted to nothing more than to wrap in his arms and prove to that all men are not these horrendous creatures she put in her path every damn day, was now suddenly having him want to bring her into his lap for a completely different reason.

“Jensen,” she whispered back to him, her eyes stalled, scanning over his face briefly. “Really, thank you.”

He was slightly intimidated all of the sudden. “For what exactly?”

She gave him a small shrug, her bottom lip slipping between her teeth while she thought. “Proving me wrong.” 


	7. 6;

**SIX;**

“I don’t really know what I did,” he said with a sigh while you watched the way his body went rigid for a moment. “I mean, I am here to help.”

You chewed your bottom lip some more while thinking about how you could explain this to him. In your line of work, all men were dogs, it was just what came with the job description, but Jensen always seemed to give you a little extra attention. The kind that you still didn’t think you deserved.

“Well,” you sat back, but you kept yourself close to him. “For starters, you always have treated me like a person. Like you wanted to get to know me even if I was dancing around half-naked in front of you.”

That got a slight shrug out of him. “I mean, I can’t really explain that.”

“Can you try?”

He let out a soft sigh and shifted in his seat a little bit so that he could face you head on. “Well, I’m about to get brutally honest here for a minute, if that’s okay?”

You couldn’t help the small chuckle, even though your voice still had that slight strain to it that always followed a good cry. “Jensen, you literally just sat here and watched me bawl my eyes out while recounting the time that I’m pretty sure I was my weakest. So, please, be as brutally honest as you need to be.”

His gaze shifted for a moment like he was thinking through what you had just said, but when those beautiful green eyes of his shifted back to meet you - there was something different morphing through them.

“You know the other day when I brought up getting married to my wife at a young age?”

Nodding your head, you scooted close enough that your knees were touching, but decided against saying anything. “Well,” he blew out some air, turning his attention towards the dark television. “We lost the baby just shy of fourteen weeks - which is usually the safe zone, apparently.”

This time you reached over and gave his knee a small squeeze, especially when his voice gave the tiniest little crack. His hand reached over and overlapped yours while he continued on, “At first, I thought that it was okay, that we could move forward in our marriage and just keep trying. But with every month things got more and more discouraging and I began to realize that I married her for all the wrong reasons.”

You had to fight the urge to say ‘duh’ because you knew that it wasn’t the time or place to do so, but you really hoped that he was getting to the point of knowing that just because two people are going to have a baby together, it doesn’t mean that they need to be married. That was just your personal opinion and not one that everyone agreed with, so you had learned to keep your mouth shut on the matter. And, again, you had to remind yourself that this just wasn’t the time to say such a thing.

“When our five year wedding anniversary came around, we thought of the idea of trying IVF. But something about the idea wasn’t sitting right with me, well, something about Dee wasn’t sitting right with me.”

Your head tilted to the side and you knew that your eyebrow was a dead giveaway to what you were about to ask. “What do you mean?”

He shrugged, his eyes squinting a bit as he stared in the distance. “I just always felt like.. like she purposely got pregnant as a reason to marry me.”

As soon as the words were out there, you felt the way they were weighing heavily on the man sitting next to you. “Is there a reason that you feel that way?”

“I can’t really pinpoint it other than I am convinced that when she told me she was pregnant, the baby wasn’t mine. Or that she was really even pregant to begin with. She went to her first doctor's appointment alone and then the next one I was supposed to tag along too, but she started bleeding a week before that. At the time though, I was too focused on trying to fix everything while keeping my name from being dragged through the mud.”

“Jensen.”

His hand shot up in a preventive gesture. “I know, I know. It, it just seemed like it was the only way to make sure this wouldn’t bite me in the ass as I was trying to make a name for myself.”

You chewed your lip in thought, trying to put yourself in his shoes and you could honestly see where he was coming from. All too often in the media and tabloids, you would see these handsome, famous men being taken advantage of from something in their pasts. More often these days you were seeing this nobody women coming forward and swearing that one of their children was whoever's and demanding a massive child support check on top of their fifteen minutes of fame.

“So, is that why you always spend time at the club, waiting until your wife goes to bed to sneak back home? It’s simply because you don’t want to lay with her at night?”

“It’s deeper than that.”

You huffed, trying to be understanding, but growing increasingly frustrated. “How much deeper can you get?”

His eyes searched your face for a moment, but there was no hiding your frustration with him at the moment. You waited while he continued to look over your features like he was trying to work the words out in his head. With each passing moment, your annoyance started to waver as he pulled himself closer to you - stretching out those long legs of his while he fingers reached for your own.

“Jen- ”

His mouth pushed on yours roughly, nothing compared to the last couple of times that the two of you had kissed. You felt his tongue graze over your bottom lip, his silent way of asking for permission to which you gladly gave him the answer he wanted. Jensen’s body moved forward, pushing towards you until you were laying flat on your back with him hovering over you carefully.

When he pulled away, still keeping his face just a mere inches from yours, all you could hear was the way your heart was pounding away in your chest. His voice was nothing more than a whisper as he spoke down to you, “Want to know why I want to get to know you?”

“Yes,” you answered, matching his breathless tone.

“I have never felt the way I feel towards my wife the way that I feel towards you. Call it some unexplainable connection.”

If there was a way for your heart to burst, you were pretty sure that his words would be the cause of it. “What are you saying?”

He leaned forward and pressed his mouth to the base of your throat before answering. “I’m saying that I wished I had met you first.”

There were no words needed and you sure as hell should have pushed him off and reminded him that he was married - you didn’t need that small little factor hanging over your head. And yet, your arms reached up and wrapped themselves around his neck, pulling his mouth to meet yours once more.

You both let out something close to a moan as Jensen shifted himself again so that he was sitting upwards and you were suddenly straddling his lap with hands tangled up in the length of his hair. Pulling away, you caught an up-close look at those freckles that seemed to play peek-a-boo some days, but when his lips nipped at your jaw - your focus went to what was going on between your legs at the moment.

There was a moment where the two of you just took a moment to use your hands and lips to explore parts of each other’s body that had been forbidden. When your lips found that one soft spot on his neck, you knew that it was all over for the two of you.

There was about to be no going back from this.

Jensen stood up suddenly, holding you up by your ass as he pressed his lips into yours once more with such a force, you would be surprised if there wasn’t a bruise there in the morning. When he pulled away, he searched your face once more for a moment. “Bedroom?”

“Please,” you nipped at his ear causing you to feel the goosebumps to form under your fingertips laced around the back of his neck. “The door on the right to the kitchen.”

He held you close while he made his way through the maze of your furniture and through the threshold of your, thankfully, clean room. He paused the foot of your bed, kissing you once more, only a little bit more gently than just mere seconds ago before loosening his grip on your behind and lowering the both of you to your bed.

The familiar feel of your oversized comforter pushed into the warmth of your t-shirt. The unusual cool felt refreshing against your flushed body. Wasting no time, you reached down and tugged at Jensen’s shirt until it was a heap by the foot of your bed while he was quick to get as much off of you as he could, leaving you completely exposed before him.

“Damn,” he whispered while undoing his belt, eyes raking down the length of your bare body. “I’ve imagined this so many times in my head, but I never once imagined that you could exceed my fantasies.”

His praise made you feel more alive than you had in years. “Just hurry up and get those pants off.”

He shot you a smirk before yanking his jeans off followed by his boxers. You couldn’t fight the way you bit your lip at what was before you, in all its glory. You had given this man enough lap dances to know that he was hiding something glorious down there, but now that you had it within your grasp, you had to lean up and give it a taste.

Your tongue licked his base slowly moving upwards towards his tip while your eyes flicked up to meet his momentarily while he gritted his teeth through several choice words. “Baby girl,” he groaned. “You’re going to kill me.”

Smirking, you sat back a little, still looking up at him from where you were leaning on the bed. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“It is; when I know exactly what I want.”

This time his finger traced your lips, dipping towards your collarbone, making its way through your curves and traveling towards your hips, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. Your breath hitched when he found exactly what he was looking for and judging by the low growl he let out, it was exactly how he wanted you to be. His finger circled your clit slowly and carefully, making you lose your train of thought for a minute while he toyed with you. It didn’t take long for you to feel that tightness pull at the pit of your stomach, but that was hard to say if it was because you had thought about this for what felt every night in the last week or if it was because that man knew how to work his fingers.

“I keep condoms in that drawer right over there” you whispered, forcing your eyes open to see Jensen watching you with a hooded gaze.

He grunted and made his way over to where you directed, thankfully you had something in his size - probably one of the freebies the club always gave out from time to time. You felt like you had blinked and he was hovering over you again, pushing your back into the bed with a little more zealous than before.

His mouth connected with your skin again sending your already sensitive nerves into overdrive. “Are you okay with this?”

“More than okay.”

That seemed to be all he needed as his mouth molded into yours while he aligned himself with you, pushing in softly at first as you adjusted to feeling him inside of you before he began to move. You groaned, nails digging into his back as you waited for him to find his pace, but his lips didn’t leave contact with your body. With every thrust, they found their way from your lips to your shoulder to your neck.

His hand moved up to cup your breast as he picked up his pace before sliding its way in-between the two of you until they found your sensitive bud. He hands worked magic while his cock did wonders to parts of you that you didn’t even know existed. In what felt like mere minutes, you were a completely unraveled mess beneath him.

Jensen’s undoing seemed to follow behind you closely as he held himself close to you, his breath hot in your ear. “God, I’ve dreamt about this from the day I laid eyes on you.”

While you knew in the back of your mind what had just happened was severally fucked up - his words made your heart swell. “I can honestly say the same.”

He gave a soft laugh before placing a ginger kiss on your ear and pulling himself away from you and stumbling in the general direction of the bathroom, that stupid little smirk still plastered on his face. You were too wrapped up in this euphoria that the two of you had shared that it was impossible to hear the way his phone was vibrating violently across the floor.

\--


	8. 8;

**SEVEN;**

The two of you were supposed to be working on a new marketing campaign to bring some more light the charity. Well other than the three men blasting all social media, auctioning off personal items from the show and just bringing it up in interviews - Misha had wanted Y/N to present something of her own idea.

Jensen knew it was because he wanted her to feel like she was making a bigger difference than she thought she was, but the woman never seemed to see the fact that she was one of the most amazing people he had ever been lucky enough to admit that he knows.

“We should probably get back to some work,” she sleepily purred next to him, her body still wrapped up in her bed sheet. “I get a feeling Misha wouldn’t want us taking too long to come up with an idea.”

He smirked, bringing a finger up to trace the bottom part of her jaw lightly. “I think I can persuade him to give us another day.”

Her light laugh made his heart soar, but her shuffling to sit up and reach for her clothes had him pouting at her back. “I don’t think I want to be the one explaining to him why we need more time.”

“Come on,” he tugged her shoulder softly. “I haven’t seen you all week.”

“You could see me,” she said directly, shooting him a bit of a pointed look over her shoulder as she stood, giving him a beautiful view of her ass. “But you’ve been keeping yourself pretty busy as of late.”

His cheeks flushed. While they seemed to have an unspoken agreement not to bring up his wife, the fact remained that he was still married. Jensen did have the courtesty to take off his wedding band before stepping into her apartment, but every time he slipped it back on - it was beginning to feel heavier and heavier with each passing day.

“I’m working on freeing up some time soon.”

He noticed the way her shoulders sagged at his words. He knew it wasn’t she wanted to hear, but it was all he could give right now. These little moments where they got to be with each other and no one else; where he wasn’t a married actor, she wasn’t a broken down stripper just trying to make a little extra cash - these moments were a place where they could just be themselves without any judgment from the outside world about what they were doing.

They both knew it was wrong.

It was written on their faces when they had to part ways as he would head back home on the weekends. Or the way she would stink of booze and stale cigarettes when she couldn’t shower before heading into her job at the shelter, sometimes still brushing glitter out of her hair during a meeting.

“Quit your job,” he said suddenly, not really giving the suggestion much thought, other than his own selfish need to spend more time with her.

“What?”

He sat up a bit now, his shoulders pulling at the stiffness of laying in his position for the last hour. “Quit your job.”

Y/N stared at him, hard. That nervous habit of chewing the inside of her lip began while she appeared to be thinking through what he had just suggested to her. “And do what with my life?”

“You could go back to school.”

Her arms went up in the air. “With what money Jensen?”

He kind of gave her a half shrug while offering her a sort of sly smirk. The fact that he was even mildly implying that he would be willing to pay for her to go back to college was mind-boggling to her. “No, no, no,” she stated, beginning to walk in circles while still holding that sheet in place. “I will not let you give me a dime.”

“We both know that you get some money from the shelter, everything you earn at the club you put right back into New Beginnings.”

She paused her pacing and glared at him. “Jensen, I put that money back in there because my best friend needs it. I donate all the money anonymously to that place so that she doesn’t know. She still doesn’t, but it’s the only way I can even come close to repaying her for what she has done for me.”

The urge to roll his eyes was fierce, but he knew it wouldn’t help. “You realize what you are doing right?”

She could tell that he was getting frustrated with her. But what he was suggesting was completely out of the equation for her right now. “No, Jensen, please explain to me what exactly I am doing other than standing here naked in my bedroom.”

He wanted to smirk, he really did, but he wanted to make his point across first. “You’re putting someone else’s happiness before your own. Again.”

She opened her mouth like she wanted to argue with him, but those pretty little lips clamped shut just a quick as they unhinged. “Fuck you.”

He didn’t get a chance to reach up and grab her before she swooped up her clothes and marched her way into the bathroom with a click on the door signally that it was locked. Maybe two seconds more and he heard the steady stream of the shower. He wanted to stick around and explain himself, but he had said what he said, there was no taking it back now.

Besides, someone was going to have to tell her the truth.

\--

It was a little after nine o’clock when Jensen arrived home. After he left Y/N’s, he shot her a quick text to make sure that she knew he didn’t mean any harm by the comment, but he wanted her to think about his offer. He knew that it would be wise to let her stew before trying to contact her again, but instead of heading straight home, he had stopped by to see Jared and have a beer or two and catch up.

Most of his free time lately, he had been dedicating to his Daisy, so he felt like he owed his best friend a little face time.

“Jensen?”

Her familiar rigid voice echoed down the hall from where he could see the lights of the tv flickering softly as he stepped through the doorway and into the dark hallway. He had kind of been hoping that she would already be in bed when he pulled into the garage, but Dee was ever the unexpected.

“Yeah, I’m home,” he answered, slipping off his boots before tiptoeing into the kitchen to snag another one of his own beers. “Just grabbing a drink.”

Dee didn’t seem to hear the ‘I-don’t-want-to-be-bothered’ tone in his voice because she was instantaneously next to him as the door to the icebox closed. “You’re home early,” she grinned, laying a hand on the front of his chest.

“Uh, yeah,” he stepped back, reaching for the bottle opener that hung on the side of the fridge, giving her his back while he popped it opened. “Just hung out with Jared for a bit. Talked a bit about the fundraiser we are doing with Misha and all that.”

“Oh yeah,” she said, coming up again to stand next to him closely. Her body heat was starting to make him a little uneasy. “Someone from New Beginnings called a little while ago.”

His heart sunk as she said those words, but nothing on her face seemed to give away what she was about to say could be bad, but it also wasn’t implying anything good. “Oh, yeah?”

She nodded and leaned on him softly, plucking at a piece of imaginary lint from his shoulder. “Yeah, it was someone named Kris I think,” she gave a light shrug. “Apparently she was calling all the wives to see if they would come down this week to help with setting up for the event and the photoshoot. She said it was usually a lot easier on the girls to have fellow women helping out, besides you all. Something about liking the idea of having everyone involved.”

Jensen listened closely to her words, nodding along while his stomach seemed to be rejecting the beer he had just ingested. “What’d you say?”

“I told her I would be more than happy to help out,” she beamed up at him. “I’ve been dying to see where you are spending all your time these days.”

Jensen mumbled something about how it seemed like a good plan or whatever before he excused himself to use the bathroom, stating something about the beverage just running through him. It wasn’t a total lie considering he had probably had those other beers at Jared’s and didn’t even stop to piss then - so his bladder was squeezing him tightly.

When he was safely locked behind the bathroom in the hallway did he let out a heavy breath, ignoring the way his heart was pounding away in his ears before pulling out his phone and going against everything he said he wasn’t going to do.

 _Listen, I know you’re pissed at me, but I need to see you tomorrow. I’ll come to you._


	9. 8;

**EIGHT;**

The fear in Jensen’s eyes when he appeared in the Champagne Room that night was enough to stop you in your tracks. While you were pissed that he even had the nerve to show up after what he had said to you the day before, you knew that something was eating at him enough to brave your wrath.

“Your wife is going to be there on Tuesday?” You asked, keeping your voice hushed against his ear while the rest of your body was rigidly pushed against his. The man had paid a decent chunk of money just to get you to see him, the least you could do was pretend like you were giving him a good show. “Jensen, what the fuck.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

You sighed and leaned back in his lap, pushing your bra-clad breasts towards his face. “How about that you’re joking as a way to get back at me?”

For once, he didn’t even crack a smile which made your stomach sink even more into the depths of worst case scenarios. Bringing yourself up into a proper sitting position, you watched as his eyes seemed to be looking off into the distance, a place that you couldn’t seem to reach in the moment. “Jensen?”

He shook his head and turned his gaze towards you. Much to your dismay, he still appeared to be in his own little world of dazed and confused, while you were desperately trying to sort through how the two of you were going to handle this incredibly sticky situation.

“Jensen, I need you to talk to me.”

He sighed and shifted himself so that you were no longer in his lap, but sitting next to him. The simple change was enough to make you feel heartsick. “I really don’t know what to do, Y/N. I really don’t.”

You knew what you wanted him to do. You wanted him to tell you that it was going to be okay, that this was just a little bump in the road for your relationship - well, what little bit of a relationship the two of you are able to have given the circumstances of it all, but instead he seemed just as shaken up about the idea of his wife and his mistress in the same vicinity together.

Taking a deep breath, you asked the one question that you had been avoiding for as long as you could remember. “You don’t think she knows about us, do you?”

\--

In the blink of an eye, it was Tuesday. If you didn’t have to work at the club, you were holing yourself up in your apartment attempting to focus on anything other than what today might bring. You had finally settled on a simple bake sale for your “project” per Misha’s assignment. You figured it would be nice to have an excuse to keep your hands busy and even have some of the women use their talents while helping others learn some tricks of the trade.

Monday night, you didn’t sleep. You had spent the whole night baking every kind of cookie you could think of while trying to find the right outfit to wear for the event. There had been mention of a camera crew and, of course, some fans, so you wanted to look presentable. Unlike Jensen, if anyone there recognized you from the club, you knew they would play stupid.

“The tables need to go over there,” Kris stated to some of the moving men while you glanced around for any sign of Jensen and his wife. “Misha mentioned having a camera crew mainly station in the corner for a bit so they don’t get too in the way.”

“Uh-huh,” you nodded along, but mainly listening in and out to what she was saying.

There was a bit of a stall in conversation causing you to look over at your friend who was staring at you with her dark eyebrows raised. “Everything good in there?”

You gave her a small smile and feigned a yawn. “I just spent all night making these cookies is all.”

“Sure,” she stated giving you that know-it-all look she would probably give her future children. “Why don’t you go and grab those from the kitchen and we can set up your table? Then when the other ladies finish up, they can join you.”

Another nod and you quickly beelined for where the cookies were waiting just as a familiar looking SUV was pulling up to the curb. Not waiting to see who would possibly step out, you turned away from the window and focused on grabbing as many trays as you could possibly hold. Just as you were turning back towards the door, you began to feel one of the platter slip by the tips of your fingers.

“Shit, shit, shit,” you muttered, trying to spin yourself back around towards the counter in an effort to save yourself, but you were too late.

You waited for the loud clang of your hard work to hit the floor, but it didn’t come. Instead, as you turn yourself back around to see the damage, you came eye-to-eye with those intimately familiar green eyes that were attached to the man kneeling on the floor with your cookies practically in his lap.

“That was close,” he stated quietly, standing up slowly and grabbing two more of the trays from your grasp giving some relief to the weight in your arms.

Before answering, you stole a quick glance at the door half expecting him to be followed by a woman you had never met. No one came through allowing you to take him in for a moment. “Very close.”

Jensen eyed you cautiously. It had been your choice to ignore him after seeing him at the club the other night, deciding that if your relationship was going to end in a shit show that it was, it was best to begin pushing yourself back. As far back as you could.

“How are you?” He asked, his tongue slipping out to wet his bottom lip as his gaze shifted back to the mountain of sweets in front of him. “I haven’t heard from you.”

The small action in this situation shouldn’t have been enough to cause your stomach to clench, but it did. And you hated yourself for it.

“I know,” you nodded, stepping back towards the door knowing all too well that he would be quick to follow. “I’ve been.. busy.”

There was a low chuckle from behind you, “I can see. Are you planning on feeding an army today or something?”

“No,” you shrugged as your table with a massive banner reading “BAKE SALE” scrawled across the front came into view. “Just needed to keep my mind at bay. Today’s a little nerve-racking for a couple of reasons.”

He was silent as the two of you placed your confections down, Jensen taking it upon himself to start unwrapping them and placing them in their appropriately labeled wicker baskets. In the silence, you heard Kris directing people around while her heels clicked on by between the entrance of the shelter and the tents that were positioned all along the front sidewalk. This event was something that was going to be hard to miss.

“Are you ready?”

His question was a loaded one causing you to pause your movements for a moment and look up at him. “Ready for what exactly?”

“Your interview.”

Honestly, that had been the last thing on your mind about today. Now that he had brought it up, your heart began to race. There was a very high chance that you might have a heart attack before the day was over. Focusing back on the set-up, you took a slow breath, “As ready as I’m ever going to be.”

“Y/N-”

“There you are,” an unfamiliar voice came rushing up from behind where Jensen was suddenly standing rigidly straight. “I thought I’d lost you for a minute.”

There was no need for an introduction as the redhead came into view, her eyes focused on her husband. You had forbidden yourself from ever knowing what she looked like because you knew that it would make what you were doing with her husband that much worse, but now that she was standing in front of you - it was like you had been sucker punched repeatedly in the gut for the last hour.

“Hey Dee,” he said, closing his eyes for a moment before turning towards her and giving a tight smile. “This is Y/N. I was just helping her set up her table.”

“Oh,” the woman stated, linking an arm through Jensen’s before extending the other towards you with a wide grin on her face. “You must be the one keeping my husband so busy these days.”

Both you and Jensen shared a subtle glance before you popped an eyebrow towards her. With a not so steady hand, you met her own halfway. “I’m sorry, I don’t quite know what you mean.”

She shook her head, long locks cascading down her back faintly as she let out a slight giggle. “Sorry, your friend Kris was telling me that Jensen has been helping you prep for a big interview today.”

“Oh, yeah,” you nodded, stealing a glance over at where Kris was standing. She seemed to sense you were looking in her direction because she eyed you before waving you over and pointed to the man across from her. “Actually, it looks like now is my time to get this over with.”

\--

Jensen watched as she walked away, her shoulders held higher than he had seen them in what felt like forever. Dee had told her that they could finish up her set up and then she could meet them back outside when it was done. He continued to watch her until she was tucked away inside the shelter and out of his line of sight.

“She seems sweet,” Dee cooed while pulling out more of the cookies and following just what he had watch Y/N do moments ago. “I can see why you like her.”

“Yeah.”

His wife began to talk about something or another, he really wasn’t paying too much attention, just nodding his head where it seemed appropriate. They seemed to have set up the table in no time before Daneel offered to help another gaggle of women set up their pottery collection, dragging him along with her. He really didn’t mind as long as he could keep the door in his line of sight, while not so patiently waiting for her to reemerge.

The event was about to start which meant that it had to have been at least an hour since she went off with the reporter. Jensen was starting to have that sinking feeling in his gut that something wasn’t right, but he pushed on through putting on a smile for everyone around them. When Jared and Gen finally arrived, he was partically bouncing off the walls with an insane amount of nerves.

“Hey,” Jared eyed his best friend for a moment before giving Dee a side hug, probably sensing his unease in the moment. “Are we ready to get this thing started?”

Daneel nodded, rocking back and forth on her heels for a moment. “It’s nice to see where you guys have been doing some amazing work. I’m sure this place will get all the attention and love that it deserves.”

There was some more conversation amoungst the three of them while Jensen watched the reporter come back outside, but there was no sign of Y/N following behind him. He stared intently at the man from where he was standing, trying to gauge how he felt after hearing what Y/N had gone through, and it was impossible to not see the way his whole body seemed deflated. He watched as the man strode over to where Kris was standing, shaking her hand and mouthing some words to her, causing Kris’s forehead to crease.

“I’m gonna be right back,” he announced not caring if anyone actually heard him.

He zeroed in on where Kris was wringing her hands before waving off the man before her. She seemed to be debating something in her head when his shadow caught her attention. “Oh, hey Jensen.”

“Where’s Y/N?”

There was a sigh that didn’t sit right with him. “The reporter said that she needed a couple of minutes, which he completely understood, so she’s still inside.”

“Where?”

Her dark eyes widened at his harsh tone before she glanced back to where he knew his wife and friends were probably watching him. “She’s in the office.”

There was no time to waste and he honestly didn’t care at the moment, all he wanted to do was make sure that she was okay. It was the least he could do since he couldn’t be with her through all of it. Sorting through the crowd, careful not to bump into anyone, he stalled when he found himself in front of the wooden door.

Deciding against knocking, he pushed open the door carefully before closing it just as softly. The woman in front of him had her arms wrapped tightly around her torso and her eyes squeezed so tight he was amazed that tears still seemed to be streaming out. It took two strides before he was in front of her, using a finger to coax her chin upwards.

“Hey, hey,” he whispered, trying to get down on her level. “I’m here baby.”

Her eyes shot open and she took a large step back, shaking her head towards him. “No, Jensen, no.”

“No?” He asked, his arms going slack at his sides. “No what?”

“I’m not your baby,” she mumbled, her body shaking as she took a deep breath. “You’re married. That beautiful woman out there is the one that you are supposed to be saying those things too. Not some sad stripper you feel some sympathy for.”

Her words both hurt him and angered the hell out of him.

He stared at her for a moment, knowing that getting upset would not help the way she was feeling. The woman had just been forced to relive her own personal hell and in the midst of it all know that he was standing just outside those four little walls with another woman. If the roles had been reversed, he knew he would have been feeling pretty fucked up himself. It was all starting to add up right in front of him. All of her actions since he saw her over the weekend were starting to make sense; she had been trying to find the courage to build up to this moment - to cutting him off.

“You know it’s more than that,” he stated slowly, cautiously stepping towards her cowardly shrinking figure. “We both know it’s always been more than just this.”

“Jensen,” she motioned to the empty space between them, “this is a lie.”

Another step forward for him and another step backward for her. “Says who?”

“That ring on your finger.”

He kept pine eyes on her while he slipped his ring off and tossed it off to the side, ignoring the way it clanged against whatever it had hit. “Better?”

That seemed to have gotten her reaction because she released the grasp she had on herself and lifted her gaze to meet him; and there was something brewing behind them. “What are you doing?”

“Proving a point.”

She seemed to be feeling a little bit braver now as she lifted her chin up before tilting her head to the side. “To who?”

Jensen couldn’t take it anymore. He closed the gap in-between their bodies while bringing his hands to her face and cupping her cheeks gently as he brought her lips up towards his. Her lips were soft and warm, exactly how she made him feel when he wasn’t trying to find ways to sort through just what she did to him.

The kiss was slow and gentle, but he couldn’t resist the urge to nip at her bottom lip when he pulled away. He placed a small kiss on the tip of her nose before speaking again, “How dense are you baby girl?”

“Jensen -”

He shook his head, leaning himself back down to capture her words on his mouth. He didn’t care what kind of argument she was going to give him, right now all he wanted was her. Hell, even when they were apart, all he found himself wanting was her. She was the one he wanted to come home to at the end of the day, she was the one that he wanted to talk about everything under the sun, she was the one that made him smile as if he had just won the million dollar lottery.

She was the one.

This time when he broke away, he looked down at her, wiping away the earlier anguish. “I need to do something real quick. Just stay right here, collect yourself and I’ll come back for you, okay?”

“Okay.”

He took another deep breath and released her from his grasp, giving a slow nod as he retreated back the same way he came; his fingers already aching to be back on her skin again, but he knew it wasn’t fair at the moment. He had something he needed to handle first.

The pounding in his chest was echoing so loud in his ears, he was amazed no one had stopped him to make sure he was doing okay. Red hair flooded his vision as his breath hitched with a effort of composure before he spoke his next words carefully.

“I want a divorce.”

\--


	10. Nine;

**NINE;**

Dee stared at her husband, the wide smile on her lips beginning to falter while his words bounced around in her head. She wasn’t quite understanding just what he was saying to her, but judging by the reactions of several of those around her, it was something cringe-worthy.

The smile stayed put as she spoke slowly. “I’m sorry, what?”

“I want a divorce, Dee.”

Something pricked at her eyes, but she refused to acknowledge the oncoming emotion. Not now and not here, where there were witnesses all around and some well within earshot. She had worked too hard to make their life look like the ideal marriage, she loved reading comments on her social media pages talking about how they were what some considered “goals.”

“Jay,” she took a step forward and placed a hand on his bicep, to which he quickly curved away from her. “This is not the place to play this kind of joke.”

His teeth tore at the skin of his bottom lip while he shook his head at her, eyes tearing away from her face to steal a glance back at the building behind them. “What in your right mind makes you think that I’m joking?”

“‘Cause none of this makes sense.”

\--

The rest of the day was spent in very robotic like motions, between smiling with excited fans, handing out gift bundles filled with goodies from the set of _Supernatural_ to the participants who had won raffles and thinking to keep it together for the sake of the cameras surrounding her. She started to feel a whole new level of admiration for what her husband did every damn day.

_Husband._

Danneel had been trying to rack her brain for what she did wrong. She made sure she kept herself in tiptop shape, she made sure that she cooked for him whenever he asked, she made sure she tried to initiate sex a couple of times a week. The only thing that stood out was the fact that they hadn’t had a child together - despite her best efforts to make it happen.

She knew she’d have to fess up at some point. Especially should the question arise if he actually decided to follow through with the actions that his words presented; she just knew that it would come out.

The fact of the matter was, she lied. She had been told a year into their marriage that she would never be able to bare kids, a side effect of the horrible eating disorder that plagued her all throughout high school, that was until Jensen came into her life. All it took was a smile one night at the homecoming football game from all the way across those flimsy metal bleachers. He made her feel beautiful, he made her feel wanted. And sure, she had to force her way into his line of sight, making sure to be at every party he was rumored to be at, making sure she was always readily available when he showed up alone and when she finally got him to kiss her - it was like the stars aligned.

At least to her, they did.

One of her fellow cheerleaders had fallen pregnant and was going to be sent away to be with relatives while she sorted through her options - it was the exact same week that Jensen had told her that he wasn’t going to college, but going to pursue acting in Los Angeles.

She was crushed. She didn’t eat or get out of bed for three whole days before the idea came to her. It was not something she was the proudest of, but she knew it would get Jensen to make the right choice. If that meant he didn’t want to be with her then she could at least keep him in her life because of the “what if” aspect.

Thankfully her friend didn’t bat an eye at the prospect of sharing her “pee” stick.

It had been over two hours since the event ended. When she tried to get in the car with Jensen and Cliff, her husband told her that he would be staying behind. He mumbled something about all the guys staying to help clean up, but she had just witnessed Jared and Misha both leave with their wives - and she, sure as hell, didn’t miss the way he went over to the woman from the cookie table.

The way he brushed against her shoulder in passing had been lingering with her ever since.

She heard the back door slide open slowly, causing her to stand from her spot on the couch. “Jensen?”

There was an overly audible sigh from the kitchen. “Dee, why the hell are you sitting in the dark like some kind of serial killer in waiting?”

She didn’t answer him, just continued to head over in the direction of his voice. There was no denying the smell of whiskey on his breath or the slight twinkle in his eye that always hung around when he drank too much. Danneel hadn’t bothered to change out of her clothes either, but he looked particularly out of sorts at the moment.

“Where the hell have you been?”

He gave her a lazy shrug before stumbling over to the fridge and fishing out a chilled water bottle. “I just needed some space to think before coming back here.”

Waiting for him to crack open the bottle and take a swing, she looked him over, noticed the way his shirt was rumpled and bunched in odd places and the way his lips looked a little more swollen than they should have. “Did thinking involve that girl with the cookies?”

Judging by the way his shoulders stiffened, her hunch had been right. “No.”

“Are you really going to lie to me right now?”

He downed the bottle quickly, scrunching it up and missing horribly for where their recycling bin was stationed. “I’m not lying. I’ve wanted a divorce for quite some time now.”

“Why?”

“Really? Are you blind?” He gave her a strained laugh, rubbing his pine eyes excessively in the process. “Dee, we got married because you were pregnant and I was terrified to what that would do to my career. It was horribly selfish on my part, I admit, but I also felt that a baby would complete us. That maybe it would open my eyes to something I had been missing.”

His words stung, but she refused to show as she blinked at him slowly, hands balling at her sides. “So the year that we were together, not once did you think you loved me?”

“Sure,” he gave another shrug like they were simply deciding what to eat for dinner. “It crossed my mind, but we were just kids. I didn’t know what love was.”

“Well,” her voice cracked slightly, “do you now?”

Jensen paused, his eyes shifting from his crushed bottle on the floor to the top of the sink, but not once looking in her general direction. “Yes. Yes, I do.”

\--

She had kicked him out, told him that he could take his sorry ass to the couch. He didn’t fight her, not like he had been spending much time in their bed anyway. The more she started to think about how things had been the last couple of months, it was all starting to make sense. The late nights, the many unanswered voicemails, even the smudge of makeup and glitter she had been finding here and there on his dress shirts. She had been chalking it up some interesting scenes at work, but Gen had never mentioned anything similar.

Hoping that she’d be able to fall asleep and wake up from this horrible nightmare, Dee found herself failing horribly. It didn’t help that it sounded like there was some sort of noise reverberating from somewhere in the house.

After the fifth time of hearing it, she decided to get up and find the source - not having to go far, finding Jensen’s smartphone on the floor. He must of dropped it in his effort of grabbing pillows and blankets to make himself nice and cozy in the living room. There appeared to be a text message with the name Daisy across the top.

Testing her luck, Danneel swiped her finger to the left, finding his phone lazily unlocked. Pausing over the unread text message, she weighed her options, but something told her that she needed to know what it said.

_I can’t be the reason you are getting divorced._

It had only been sent minutes ago, meaning that Jensen had clearly been with this girl before he came home. She didn’t know how to feel, except even number than before, but she knew that she needed to find out who Jensen had been sneaking around with. Even if it was the final nail in the coffin, she had questions that needed to be answered and she knew just who she had to find.

**Daisy.**

 


End file.
